Torchwood Sex Machine
by crazycatt71
Summary: Ianto & Owen visit a museum's display of sex machines


Ianto was sitting on a stool behind the counter of the tourist office. He looked up when he heard the wall panel that hid the entrance to the Hub slide back. He was expecting Jack to walk through and was surprised to see Owen instead.

"Do you have any plans for lunch?" he asked.

Ianto shook his head, he hadn't really thought about it.

"Jack's on a phone conference and his face is starting to turn red. I'm making a run for it, wanna come?" Owen said.

Ianto flinched and wondered how many people he was going to have to apologize to this time. He grabbed his coat and followed Owen out the door. He followed Owen across the Plaz to a little sandwich shop. He got them a table outside while Owen went to place their order. Owen sat across from him and handed him a flyer.

"Come see the Museum of Sex's display of sex machines. Everything from Victorian to modern times." Ianto read.

He looked at Owen and quirked an eyebrow.

"Know anything about them?" Owen asked, as their food arrived.

"Can't say that I do." he replied, thinking it was a strange topic of conversation.

"In Victorian times they were used to cure female hysteria." Owen told him, "There was a whole industry devoted to it."

"And how do you know so much about it?" Ianto asked.

"Did a paper on it when I was at uni. Learned a lot more than I thought I would." Owen said, "I got one of the best grades I'd ever gotten, but I think the professor thought I was a perv."

"I can't see why." Ianto said with a chuckle.

Owen grinned.

"Wanna go check it out?" Owen asked.

Ianto thought about it for a minute, then shrugged.

"Sure, it could be interesting." he said.

They finished their lunch and headed to the museum. Owen paid their entry fee and they headed in. As they walked threw the display, Ianto was glad he had agreed to come. He and Owen rarely spent any time together that wasn't work related. Now that Owen often joined he and Jack in bed, it was nice to spend some causal time with him.

"It was commonly believed that women needed release or hysterical paroxysm,' Owen said as they strolled past the displays."it was the common diagnosis for all kinds of female ailments from fainting to bad tempers."

He stopped and studied a complicated machine for a minute.

"If men had just convinced them to loosen their corsets and had sex with their wives more often, they wouldn't have been a need for such things."

"Yeah, but then where would the sex toy trade be today?" Ianto asked with a chuckle.

Owen grinned and shrugged.

"I think I like the Victorian ones better than the modern ones." Owen commented when they got to the end.

Ianto nodded. The Victorian ones were very creative, elaborate, and beautifully made. The modern ones seemed more mechanical and kind of cold.

"Would you ever use one?" Owen asked.

"No, I don't think so." Ianto said, as they headed toward the exit, "You?"

Owen shook his head.

"I understand why somebody might. You're in control of your own pleasure. You don't have to wait for a partner to be ready. It never tires. But part of the thrill, for me, is being touched and kissed, and a machine can't do that." Owen answered.

Ianto smiled and caressed the back of Owen's neck, then bent his head and lightly kissed him. Owen was startled by the public display, but pleased too.

"You know, there's a sex machine back at the Hub that does all that." Ianto said. as they walked along.

"Kisses and touches?" Owen asked.

"Yup," Ianto said, "It fucks, sucks, kisses, touches, what ever you need and it's totally personable. "

Owen looked completely confused.

"The best part about it is the way it's powered." Ianto continued.

"Alien tech?" Owen asked.

"Coffee and chocolate." Ianto replied, waiting for Owen to catch on.

Owen stopped walking and stared at Ianto, then realization dawned on him.

"Jack." he said.

Ianto nodded.

"The only sex machine we'll ever need." he said with a grin.

"Ianto Jones, you have a naughty mind." Owen told him, "I like it."

Ianto gave a little bow.

Jack looked up, the frown on his face fading, when they walked into his office.

"We brought you coffee, sir." Ianto told him, setting his cup in front of him.

"And chocolate." Owen added, handing him a small paper bag.

Jack inhaled his coffee, then popped a piece of candy in his mouth, a confused look spreading across his face as Ianto and Owen looked at each other and burst out laughing.


End file.
